Something I had to learn and to get used to is, filling official applications. I filled hundreds of university applications and other less important ones. The biggest puzzle which always hindered me is, the question of ethnicity. Going through the check list ( Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, Indian, etc..), and thinking that I'm none of those! I'm not dark enough to be black. I’m not fair enough to be white. Saudi Arabia is in Asia, but I'm not sure if "they" mean people from Asia, the continent to refer to “Asians”! Many people come to me and start talking in Spanish, but I've never been to any Spanish-speaking country, even though I identify with many aspects of their culture. “Indian” refers to Native Americans and I'm not Native American. Here is what I'm looking for in the list, “Others”! But too bad ! I have to specify if I want to check “others”! What about Middle-Eastern ? But some friends told me that Americans use this term to refer to people from Iran, Pakistan and Afghanistan. Is it good a good idea to identify myself as Saudi ?What about checking ( Others) and specifying ( None) ? !
Why do I have to categorize myself only according to the limited categories they have ? Why do you I have to be only the different nationalities they know exist ? I'm not Asian and I'm not white nor black. I’m not Saudi, I'm Hejazi which I'm sure they don't know, because it's not on their list ! So, don't I exist only because they don't have Hejaz in their list ?!
I'm NONE, because I belong to the sky, to the sea, to the sun and the moon, to birds and trees, to stones and mountains, to deserts and snow, and most importantly to the big human family.
I’m none because my passport does not say to which place and to what people I truly belong. Certainly I'm NONE in a country that emphasizes my difference every time I fill an application !
Here I'm reminded of Marcel Khalife's song Passport, which is written by Mahmoud Darwich, who was born in Israel and carried the Israeli passport, but actually was Arab who happened to be born in the Israeli borders. Here are what Darwish's says :
"They didn't recognize me in the shadows
That absorb my color in the passport
And my wound was to them an exhibition on display
To a tourist living to collect photographs
They didn't recognize me...Don't leave
My palm without a sun
Because the trees recognize me
Every song of the rain knows me
Don't leave me pale like the moon
All the birds that followed
My palm to the door of the distant airport
All the fields of wheat
All the prisons
All the white gravestones
All the borders
Every handkerchief that was waved
All the eyes
Were with me, but
They dropped them from my passport
Stripped of my name, of my identity
On soul I nourished with my own two hands
Today Job yelled filling the sky
"Don't make me into a lesson again"
Oh gentleman, oh gentleman of the prophets
Don't ask the trees their names
Don't ask the valleys who their mothers are
From my forehead bursts a sword of light
And from my hand springs a river of water
All the people's hearts are my nationality
So snatch my passport from me"
That absorb my color in the passport
And my wound was to them an exhibition on display
To a tourist living to collect photographs
They didn't recognize me...Don't leave
My palm without a sun
Because the trees recognize me
Every song of the rain knows me
Don't leave me pale like the moon
All the birds that followed
My palm to the door of the distant airport
All the fields of wheat
All the prisons
All the white gravestones
All the borders
Every handkerchief that was waved
All the eyes
Were with me, but
They dropped them from my passport
Stripped of my name, of my identity
On soul I nourished with my own two hands
Today Job yelled filling the sky
"Don't make me into a lesson again"
Oh gentleman, oh gentleman of the prophets
Don't ask the trees their names
Don't ask the valleys who their mothers are
From my forehead bursts a sword of light
And from my hand springs a river of water
All the people's hearts are my nationality
So snatch my passport from me"
And I cry with him : SNATCH MY PASSPORT....
I've always thought that the racial classification system used by Americans should include a "Middle Eastern" category. Under the current system, it seems that Arabs and Persians have to choose between "White" and "Asian," neither of which are really intended to refer to their ethnic group (White is more for people of European origin and Asian tends to be interpreted as Chinese, Japanese, etc.) So I guess "Other" is really the best way to go for someone of Middle Eastern origin.
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